Hat Trick (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Read online

  More importantly, did that mean he was gay?

  Jeremy had never given his sexuality a second thought before. Sure, he could identify and even appreciate a good-looking guy, but he’d never been sexually attracted to a man before.

  He shifted again as Nathan walked out of the showers butt naked, running the towel over his short hair. That odd little feeling in his chest, like a bird’s wings fluttering madly against his ribs, started up again. He’d been feeling those wings more and more often lately. Especially when he’d found himself imagining being penetrated by Nathan while he plunged into Rachel’s willing body. Those thoughts had always gotten stronger as he was drifting off to sleep. As much as he loved their threesome relationship, he couldn’t help but feel he was missing an integral part of himself.

  Nathan wrapped the towel around his lean waist and sat down next to him. “I’d be careful if I were you. You never know what Johnston might have in his locker.”

  Jeremy smiled but didn’t open his eyes. He was starting to feel the effects of his impact with the ice, and his head was throbbing steadily now. He was so damn tired.

  He could feel Nathan sitting forward, and then a warm palm landed on his thigh, strangely comforting and, for that reason alone, discomforting. Nathan squeezed his thigh and then gripped his chin gently, turning his head so that he could see Jeremy’s face. “You took a pretty hard knock there, Jer. Are you okay?”

  “I’m just sore and tired. Nathan?” Jeremy licked his lips, unsure how to express what he was feeling.

  “Yeah?” Nathan’s thumb ran across his eyebrow, right below the stitches.

  It was all Jeremy could do not to nuzzle into that loving touch. “I’m not gay,” he finally blurted out.

  Hand falling away, Nathan sighed and stood. Jeremy finally opened his eyes and watched Nathan as he let the towel drop to the floor. He had one second to appreciate that hard body in all its glory before the other man began pulling on his clothes. “I know you’re not gay, Jeremy,” he said quietly. “No one who responds to Rachel like you do is gay.”

  Jeremy shrugged and smiled a little. “What can I say? She’s the whole package.” He pulled on a loose thread hanging from his sleeve, making the material pucker a little. Rachel was going to kill him for that pull. She was forever reminding him to use scissors instead of just yanking at loose strings. Jeremy didn’t mind her harping at him though. For one, it had saved his wardrobe.

  He continued to fidget on the spot until Nathan turned around, now fully dressed. “Do you have something else you want to tell me?”

  “I’m not gay,” he repeated. His voice shook as he weighed the magnitude of what he was about to say. This had the potential to change his whole life. “But if I’m not gay, then why am I attracted to you?”

  Nathan froze and stared at him, open mouthed, for a few seconds. Finally, he shrugged. They seemed to be doing a lot of shrugging today. “I’m attracted to women and men, but I don’t classify myself as gay. I guess if I had to put a label on my sexuality, I would say that I’m bisexual.”

  For the first time since they’d met, Jeremy felt awkward with Nathan. Maybe it was because he was in love with the other man’s wife, but he had a sneaking suspicion Nathan would be okay with that. It was probably because he’d just realized that, not only was he falling in love with Rachel, he was falling in love with Nathan, and it turned his whole world upside down.

  Nathan crossed over to him and nudged him toward the door. “Come on. Let’s get you some painkillers and put you to bed. You look like you’re about to fall down.”

  Jeremy allowed himself to be ushered along, moving in some sort of haze. He felt like he could fall asleep standing up, and the idea of a bed sounded like heaven. It wasn’t until a digital recorder was stuck in his face that he realized there were reporters still hanging around in the hall, obviously waiting for him.

  “Jeremy, how are you feeling?”

  He blinked and forced his mouth to work. “Okay. A little sore but I’ll survive.”

  A reporter that he’d never seen before waited until all the others had finished their questions before approaching. Jeremy took in what he was wearing and sucked in his breath. The man was wearing jeans so tight they may as well have been painted on. A pink shirt and blue-and-pink pinstriped tie completed the outfit. It wasn’t so much what he wore that worried Jeremy. Rather, it was the rainbow patch emblazoned on the pocket of the button-down shirt. He was pretty sure the rainbow symbol meant the same thing here in Toronto that it did in Michigan.

  Nathan chose that minute to step in front of Jeremy and speak to the lingering reporters. “I think Jeremy has had enough. He needs to rest.”

  Surprisingly, the reports all murmured their good-byes and left, all except for the rainbow-sporting dude. “Please, Mr. Reiner. I won’t take up too much time.”

  Jeremy sighed and nodded curtly. “Fine.”

  The reporter tossed his long, blond bangs out of his hair and twitched nervously. “I have to admit I don’t know much about hockey.” Oh boy, here it came. “But I’m here from Now magazine and wondered if you would give our readers a word of encouragement.”

  Jeremy’s stomach churned, and he wondered if he was going to vomit on the young reporter. Nathan’s hand landed on his shoulder, and he shrugged out from under the comforting touch. Nothing seemed to escape the reporter’s sharp eye, and Jeremy wasn’t ready to admit to anything just then. He needed some time to digest the revelation that he’d had in the locker room. There was only one thing he was sure of. “I’m not gay.”

  The reporter gave him a sympathetic, if knowing, smile and nodded. “Okay, Mr. Reiner. Thanks for taking the time to talk with me.” He headed for the door, looking back coyly over his shoulder along the way. “If you ever change your mind about that, give me a call at the Now office. Name’s Billy.”

  Jeremy rubbed his hand over his face, completely wiped out.

  “Come on, killer, let’s get you home and into bed.”

  God, he wasn’t ready for the emotions running through him. He followed Nathan out to the parking lot where the reporters, including Billy, still loitered. Shit, he couldn’t do this. “Look, Nathan. I think I need some time alone. A few days maybe.”

  Nathan stared at him as if he’d grown a second head. “Time alone? Like you want to move into the guest room?”

  Could he say it any louder? “No, man,” Jeremy whispered. “Like a hotel. I just need to work through a few things.”

  The blond was silent as Jeremy pulled out his cell phone and called for a cab. “So you’re going to let them win?” Nathan whispered fiercely. “Come on, Jer. Ignore them and get in the fucking car. Or are you just a pussy, like everyone’s saying?”

  Jeremy couldn’t believe what he was hearing. After all he’d been through in the last few days, the last person he’d expected to hear such an accusation from was his almost-lover. “You know what, Nathan? Fuck you. You have no right to speak to me like that, and you know it.” The cab showed up, pulling to a halt in front of the Air Canada Centre. He wasn’t sure if it was his cab or belonged to one of the reporters, but he was going to grab it and get out of here. “I’m outta here.”

  Nathan grabbed him by the arm and swung him around. “No, Jeremy, wait. I didn’t mean that. I’m just as frustrated by all this shit as you are, and I lost control. Please come home and let me take care of you.”

  All the fight drained out of him at Nathan’s desperate tone, but he couldn’t bring himself to meekly follow Nathan back to the car. If he didn’t have some time to himself, he’d never figure out what he was feeling. “I gotta do this, Nathan. Tell Rachel…never mind. I’ll call her to explain tomorrow.”

  He climbed into the back of the cab and told the driver to take him to the nearest decent hotel. He laid his head on the back of the seat and closed his eyes. Could his life suck any more?

  Chapter 8

  Nathan watched the cab drive away. His heart felt like it was breaking. Jere
my leaving hurt so much his chest actually ached. He shuffled toward his car, hanging his head in shame as he went. He shouldn’t have made that remark about Jeremy being a pussy. The man was struggling with his sexuality, and what Nathan had said had been unforgiveable. Hopefully they would be able to move past it. It would have to wait until Jeremy came home, though.

  The reporter from that gay magazine was still standing on the curb, talking on his cell phone. Nathan pulled up to him and lowered the passenger window. “Need a ride?”

  Billy looked at him speculatively before finishing up his conversation. “Yeah. Listen, Gabe, I’m going to get in Nathan Vaughan’s car…yes, I’ll get his autograph ’kay…me, too.”

  He opened the door and slid into the passenger seat, buckling his seatbelt. “Thanks, Mr. Vaughan. Are you moonlighting as a cab driver these days?” he said, his face completely straight.

  Nathan grinned in spite of himself. He had a feeling he was really going to like the little shit. “Call me Nathan. And I thought you didn’t know anything about hockey?” Nathan said instead.

  The twenty-something man grinned back and made a gesture toward Nathan’s body with one hand. “I don’t know much about the game, but you are every gay man’s wet dream, Nathan. I have this page of you from a Sports Illustrated from last season. You’re posing in the locker room, in only your hockey pants, taping up your stick. It’s provided me with great jack-off material for months now.”

  Nathan didn’t know quite what to say. “I’m flattered. I think,” he finally said. They drove in silence for a few minutes before Nathan spoke again. “Is Gabe your partner?”

  A crack of laughter filled the car. “No, he’s my brother. He’s probably jealous as hell I’m sitting with you instead of him. He loves hockey.”

  Nathan thought through his words carefully. The last thing he wanted to do was make Jeremy’s situation harder if he gave away too much of their relationship. He had to think about Rachel, too. So far none of the fallout from the gossip column had affected her personally or professionally, and he wanted to keep it like that. “If you don’t like hockey, why did your magazine send you to interview a hockey player?”

  Billy’s expression sobered, and he leaned a little closer. “I wasn’t there to interview a hockey player. I was there to interview a gay hockey player.”

  “Jeremy’s not gay,” Nathan interrupted quickly and then wondered if he had protested a little too quickly.

  Billy merely arched a brow and leaned back in his seat. “You know, the gay community doesn’t really have a lot of sports heroes to look up to. An out-and-proud hockey player would go a long way to show kids it’s okay to be themselves. But I understand. Maybe he would be willing to give an interview about his support for gay athletes.”

  “I can’t answer for Jeremy,” Nathan said. “But I would be willing to give you an interview in support of gay athletes. Why don’t I speak with my publicist tomorrow and have her set something up? Do you have a business card?”

  Billy’s eyes widened as he forked over a card. “You know, I came here expecting to be brushed off at best. Thanks for agreeing to do the interview. You can’t know what it will do for the teenagers coming to terms with their sexuality.”

  The young man looked like he was weighing his next words, as if afraid if he spoke he would lose the interview. “What else, Billy?” Nathan asked.

  “I suppose you want me to leave Mr. Reiner alone then? I didn’t really want to bug him anyway. This probably is a hard enough time for him right now without me asking for an interview for a gay magazine.”

  Pulling up to the building Billy directed him to, Nathan put the car in park and turned so he could face the other man fully. “I’m not going to tell you how to do your job. You seem like a good guy. Just do what you think is right.”

  He pulled away from the building, leaving Billy standing there with his mouth open. By the time he pulled into his driveway, Rachel was already home from her event, and he was beat, both physically and emotionally. He dragged his sorry ass out of the car and up the stairs, nearly falling on his wife when she yanked open the door. “Where have you guys been? I heard about the fight? Is Jer at the hospital?”

  For the first time in years, Nathan felt his eyes fill with tears. He shook his head and busied himself by taking his shoes off. He made his way to the master bathroom and closed the door, sitting on the side of the tub as the tears fell. He scrubbed them away, furious with himself. Rachel was going to freak if she saw him crying so he’d better get himself together.

  Too late. The door eased open, and she peeked inside. “Nathan, baby? What’s wrong?”

  Nathan shook his head, too overwhelmed with what he was feeling to actually stop the tears. He felt sorrow for Jeremy’s situation, one he’d inadvertently helped to create. He felt unimaginable grief that Jeremy had left. Under all that, he felt incredibly guilty. He’d promised Rachel, and himself, that she would be his only love, and now he was breaking that promise because he was also head over heels in love with Jeremy. Could he actually say any of this to Rachel? No. There was a good chance Jeremy wouldn’t be coming home. There was no point in telling Rachel she now shared his affections. He finally looked up at her and sighed. “Jeremy left for a hotel. He said he’d call you later.”

  Rachel’s soft hands landed on his thighs as she eased to her knees between his feet. “Oh, my love. It will be all right. Come here.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him down until his head was pillowed on the inner curve of one of her breasts.

  He breathed in her familiar scent, a mixture of soap, shampoo and perfume, and let himself sink a little closer. Snaking his arms around her waist, he hung on to her like she was his last link with reality. He couldn’t seem to let her go. He felt like if he released his hold on her, she would disappear, too. Finally, she rose to her feet, forcing him to loosen his grip. He panicked a little when he didn’t have her completely in his arms.

  His panic must have been reflected in his eyes because she stepped closer and took one of his hands between hers. “Come on, babe. Get into bed and let me take care of you.”

  He followed meekly, at a loss for what to say. He really didn’t think he could get anything up for her to take care of. “I don’t think I’m up for anything, honey,” he said when she started undressing him.

  Rachel tsked and nudged him until he backed into the bed. “Taking care of you doesn’t always mean having sex with you, Nathan. Get on your stomach and relax.”

  Doing as she asked, he moaned softly when she squirted a line of warm liquid up his spine. She kneaded his tight muscles as his fatigue became overwhelming. He loved being the one to take care of others, especially those he loved, but he had to admit that sometimes it was nice to be taken care of.

  Nathan’s feet pounded the treadmill as he moved on to the fifth kilometer. The coach would hand him his ass if he ran the shit out of his body the day before a game, but he was desperate to take his mind off Jeremy.

  It had been two weeks since Jeremy had driven off in that taxi. Sure, he’d seen the kid at practices, training, and games, but that was the extent of his contact with him. Jeremy had even taken pains to make sure he wasn’t alone with Nathan anywhere. He wouldn’t even sit next to him on the bench if he could avoid it.

  Nathan was doing his best to give Jeremy his space, but it was getting harder and harder to keep his frustration inside. All he wanted to do was grab Jer and shake a decision out of him. At least he was talking to Rachel, although getting updates secondhand sucked shit. Didn’t Jeremy know that Nathan was just as confused by their situation as he was? What was supposed to be a quick fling, a little bit of fun between three consenting adults, had turned into a relationship, complete with emotions and all the crap that came with them. That’s why he was here well after all the other guys had come and gone. He was attempting to outrun those emotions.

  Uncapping his water bottle, he guzzled about half while still running. It was a bad idea. He�
��d known it was a bad idea even before the water hit his stomach. Within seconds, his belly cramped painfully. At least he managed to stop the treadmill and step off before he doubled up, clutching his abdomen. Nausea swamped him, causing small beads of cold sweat to rise on his already dripping body. He sucked in long, slow breaths through his nose even as his throat tightened. Nope. It wasn’t going to work. Hopefully he would make it to the adjoining washroom before he lost all the water he’d just gulped.

  He had just about made it, his steps small and measured in hopes he could still calm his stomach, when he heard a familiar voice call his name with concern.

  “Nathan? You okay, man?”

  The pain in his stomach suddenly increased, and it had nothing to do with running or water or muscle cramps. All the emotions he had been trying to run into the ground came crashing into him and upset his intense concentration. Nathan had one second to look up at the kid he’d been tied up in knots over and puked water all over the cement floor.

  A strong pair of arms grabbed him and kept him upright as he heaved again. A warm pair of lips brushed his ear as Jeremy began murmuring to him. “Breathe, babe. Come on, in through your nose, nice and deep. There you go. Just relax, babe, I’ve got you.”

  The tender words penetrated Nathan’s distress but did nothing to actually soothe him. He yanked away from Jeremy with such force he stumbled a few steps, forcing him to grip the handle of a stationary bike for stability. He wiped his mouth and stared with disgust at the mess he’d made on the floor. At least it was only water, and lord knew the floor had seen much worse. He made his way over to a stack of towels, grabbing a couple before bending to clean up the floor, managing to avoid eye contact with Jeremy the whole time. He wasn’t sure what to do. He’d just been agonizing on the treadmill about the fact that Jeremy hadn’t spoken to him in days, but now that he faced the man in question, all he could feel was anger. Well, that and embarrassment. How sexy was it to puke in front of your lover?